Dark jokes

What kind of jokes do you enjoy most of all? Some people love dark humor and we have prepared the best collection of dark jokes for them. These jokes are simply hilarious. They will make people afraid and burst into laughter at the same time. Well, not all jokes are sweet and kind. It is time for really dark humor. Use these jokes during Halloween in order to scary and entertain your best friends. You can create a special mood by sharing these lines among your friends. You will receive a lot of interesting comments for sure.

Dark Jokes

Dark jokes on images

Old lady goes to a dentist, sits down, drop panties, and lifts legs

What’s the difference between Paul Walker and a computer? I give a fuck when my computer crashes.

You know you’re ugly when you get handed the camera every time they make a group photo.

Today was a terrible day. My ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.

If a girl breaks up with me, I want her to just die, just be dead. Not ’cause I hate her so much as it’s just easier for when my friends go, ‘Hey, what happened?’ ‘Oh, she’s dead. I’d still be with her, but she’s dead. What can I do? She was loving me, but she’s dead.’

A man went into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian said: “Fuck off, you won’t bring it back.”

My daughter has gotten to the age where she asks me embarrassing questions about sex Just this morning she asked me “Is that the best you can do?”

Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, for instance when you push them down the stairs.

A man went into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian said: “F… off, you won’t bring it back.”

Dark Humour

Nowadays, sweetness and kindness is the fashion. If you watch most profiles on social networks, you will notice how people struggle to make a good impression on each other. If you are tired of this fake kindness and want to show your real dark side, you have a great opportunity to do it creatively and with a good humor by posting the following dark humour. Your friends gonna enjoy these dark humour jokes a lot.

Dark humour on illustrations

You know what’s weird about plane crashes is that you watch it on the news and they say the people have to be identified by their dental records. ‘Cause if they don’t know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?

What do you call a blonde in the freezer? Her parents named her Cindy so we should probably continue to call her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.

What did the Boston Marathon bombers do that Hitler couldn’t? Ended a race.

A priests asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, “Do you have any last requests?”  – “Yes,” replies the murderer. “Can you please hold my hand?”

“Dad, how do stars die?” – “Usually an overdose.”

My grandmother, 86 years old, just entered medical school. She’s a cadaver, and she is living death to the fullest.

Why was the leper hockey game cancelled? There was a face off in the corner.

A mexican with a boner runs into a wall, what does he break? His lawnmower.

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them.

Funny Dark Jokes

Is dark humor your specialty? You will find a lot of fresh and super funny dark jokes. This is a good way to scare your friends with your dark mood and the following funny humor jokes with a slight dark aftertaste.

Funny dark jokes on pictures

Tombstone engraving: I TOLD you I was sick!

So a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods. Boy “hey mister its getting dark out and I’m scared” Man “how do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone”

Everybody’s dead on the inside. That’s the worst kind of dead. Scarier than dead on the outside. You’re dead on the inside, you can still vote.

“Cats have nine lives. Makes them ideal for experimentation.” Jimmy Carr

What’s the difference between a trunk full of bowling balls and a trunk full of dead babies? You can’t unload bowling balls with pitchfork.

Oh daddy, I love you so much! – Hey, until we get the DNA test, I’m just Harry to you!

What’s the difference between a baby and a baked potato? About 140 calories.

If at first you don’t suceed, sky diving isn’t for you.

Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.