Funny Marriage Quotes

Marriage is a very serious step, but it is also one of the happiest events you will celebrate every day. Have a look at these funny marriage quotes and you will understand that to share the life together with the person you love is so fun. If you are invited to a wedding of your friends, you should use these funny wedding wishes instead of boring traditional wishes. Your friends will laugh and have a great mood during the whole ceremony and celebration. Enjoy life and do not take it too seriously!

Funny marriage quotes

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

One day my wife’s credit card got stolen.. what a relief it was to find that the thief spends less than my wife!

Never ever discount the idea of marriage. Sure, someone might tell you that marriage is just a piece of paper. Well, so is money, and what’s more life-affirming than cold, hard cash?

Funny Marriage Quotes

Funny marriage quotes on pics

Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.

The most important four words for a successful marriage: “I’ll do the dishes”.

Marriage is like a game of chess, except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome.

You know… There is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time… Husband!

Funny Wedding Wishes

Funny wedding wishes

My hubby may wear the pants in our family but I control the zipper!

Marriage is a wonderful institution… but who wants to live in an institution?

Marriage is the bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them.

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.

My wife was afraid of the dark … then she saw me naked and now she’s afraid of the light.

In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice which is still very much practiced.

By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.

My wife and I always compromise. I admit I am wrong and she agrees with me.

Marriage Humor Quotes

Do you want to make an unusual marriage greeting card? Marriage humor quotes are what you need! This is the best idea for people with a great sense of humor.

Marriage humor quotes

A marriage license is a license which allows a woman to drive a man!

Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is the bicycle repair kit.

Difficult times always create opportunities for you to experience more love in your life.

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing – and then marry him.

All my friends are getting married. I guess I’m just at that age where people give up.

A good marriage is one where each partner secretly suspects they got the better deal.

The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they’re too old to do it.

A wife’s view point! “What’s hers is hers”! And “What’s yours is hers also”!

Funny Wedding Congratulations

Most wedding congratulations are too serious. You should bring a bit of joy into this celebration. Funny wedding congratulations should be used for composing a perfect and unusual greeting card or message.

Funny wedding congratulations

Marriage is just fancy word to adopt an over grown male child who is no more handled by his parents.

To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you’re wrong, admit it; whenever you’re right, shut up.

No matter what age you are, or what your circumstances might be, you are special, and you still have something unique to offer. Your life, because of who you are, has meaning.

Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him.

Spend a few minutes a day really listening to your spouse. No matter how stupid his problems sound to you.

If you want your wife to listen to you, then talk to another woman; she will be all ears.

Only when your consciousness is totally focused on the moment you are in can you receive whatever gift, lesson, or delight that moment has to offer.

In our marriage everything is 50/50. I cook, he eats. I wash, he wears. I shop, he pays!

Funny Wedding Card Messages

The wedding ceremony is a wonderful event for expressing your creativity. Funny wedding card messages are great. Your friends will love the way to greet them and will never forget your funny greeting card.

Funny wedding card messages

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

The secret of a happy marriage is finding the right person. You know they’re right if you love to be with them all the time.

Marriage is not just spiritual communion, it is also remembering to take out the trash.

Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the consequences.

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music, and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

The secret of a happy marriage is finding the right person. You know they’re right if you love to be with them all the time.

The only moment that my wife listens to me is when I’m talking in my sleep.

Funny Marriage Images

Funny marriage images

Funny marriage pictures

Funny wedding pictures

Marriage humor images

Marriage humor pics

Funny wedding cards

Wedding humor pics