Funny Retirement Quotes

Most people do not want even think about their retirement. If you take it too seriously, you will get only depressed. You should better check these funny retirement quotes presented in our impressive collection. If your colleague, friend or member of the family has reached the age of his retirement, you should send him these funny retirement wishes. His mood will become better and he will laugh a lot. In fact, there is nothing bad or scary in retirement. This is a wonderful time when you still have lots of energy and free time. It is up to you to stay at home and feel sorry for yourself, or enjoy life to its full. Motivate your friend to devote more time to favorite activities, hobbies, travelling or just spending time with his family and friends.

Funny retirement quotes

Congratulations on retiring. Have fun watching your life’s savings dwindle out.

My retirement plan is to wait for a global catastrophe to wipe out the majority of humanity, survive, and then rise up as Emperor of Earth.

Like life, retirement can be full of surprises. Take when you retire, for example.

First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly.

You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.

The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does.

If you retire right the only thing you will worry about is when to eat and when to sleep.

You always cursed your body when you were ill which made you miss an important deadline at work. Retirement is when you will finally curse yourself for using an important deadline at work as an excuse for not taking care of your body all these years.

My retirement plan is to get thrown into a minimum security prison in Hawaii.

If you are going to go broke before retirement, retire first.

Funny Retirement Quotes

Funny retirement quotes on pics

A gold watch is the most appropriate gift for retirement, as its recipients have given up so many of their golden hours in a lifetime of service.

Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money.

When one door closes, another one opens, but we often look so long and regretfully at the closed door that we fail to see the one that has opened for us.

You spend your whole life believing that you’re on the right track, only to discover you’re on the wrong train.

Every day of your retired life will feel like a happy Friday night. But it’s useless because being old will make you feel dull like Monday morning all the time. Happy retirement.

For far too many people, retirement may be described as living in the past lane.

Being retired is the only time in your life when you won’t mind if you don’t get a holiday. Have fun.

Whatever resources of good health, character, and fortitude you bring to retirement, remember, also, to bring money.

Your best retirement plan for retiring happy and prosperous – don’t be a burden on others.

I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. So I do it three or four times a day.

Funny Retirement Wishes

Funny retirement wishes

When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces.  Women go right on cooking.

A man is known by the company that keeps him on after retirement age.

Before deciding to take early retirement from your job, stay home a week and watch daytime television.

Retirement is life’s way of telling you that you are too old and too weak to work any longer. Congratulations.

Retirement is the ugliest word in the language.

He who laughs last at the boss’s jokes probably isn’t far from retirement.

When you retire, you switch bosses – from the one who hired you to the one who married you.

Forever, and forever, farewell, Cassius! If we do meet again, why, we shall smile; If not, why then this parting was well made.

The best retirement for workaholics is no retirement at all.

Retirement is the company way of indirectly telling you that it has no more use of an old and lazy bum like you. Goodbye.

Retirement, we understand, is great if you are busy, rich and healthy. But then, under those conditions, work is great too.

Retirement Humor

Does your friend feel very depressed on his retirement? You can help him by ending this retirement humor. You will laugh together and the mood will change. Retirement is a great chance to live for yourself, your family and favorite activities.

Retirement humor

Sometimes it’s hard to tell if retirement is a reward for a lifetime of hard work or a punishment.

When you retire, think and act as if you were still working; when you’re still working, think and act a bit as if you were already retired.

The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does.

He attacked everything in life with a mix of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was often difficult to tell which was which.

Retirement is like a bubble that burst just when you think you are at the zenith of your career. Good luck buddy.

The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before your boss does.

For retirement brings repose, and repose allows a kindly judgment of all things.

Retirement is like being out of school for the summer but the summer never ends.

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache… unless you play golf.

When you see how some people work you wonder what they will do in retirement…

Retirement is a fence – on one side lies hard work and on the other lies boredom. Either ways, it’s no fun.

Funny Retirement Cards

Do you want to send a cheerful card to your friend or colleague due to his retirement? Discover these funny retirement cards which are awesome. Your friend will smile and look t the situation from a different and more positive point of view.

Funny retirement cards

Reagan is the only man to take the presidency as a part-time job, a means of filling up the otherwise empty hours of retirement.

While some people can’t wait until their retirement, others feel cheated that they have to retire at all.

In your retirement years never drink coffee at lunch; It will keep you awake in the afternoon.

Retirement: World’s longest coffee break.

If you are going to go broke before retirement, retire first.

Retirement is said to be the slow and painful lead up to the sunset years of your life. Have fun old timer.

Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it to the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money.

Retirement, a time to do what you want to do, when you want to do it, where you want to do it, and, how you want to do it.

I’m retired – goodbye tension, hello pension!

Retirement – the only real excuse you’ll ever have to spend your entire life’s savings. Have fun.

Funny Retirement Images

Funny retirement images

Funny retirement pics

Retirement humor images

Retirement humor pictures

Retirement humor cards

Funny retirement greetings

Funny retirement message on images

Best funny retirement quotes on images

Best funny retirement quotes on pics